Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Monkey For Sale (attitude included)

Monkey and My Love had a rough night. Seems she's missing Her Dad, and that means she can not possible reciprocate any kindness to My Love. It amazes me the way she acts sometimes. I can see it in everything she does. It's as though she thinks she's betraying her dad by letting my love fill that role. Sometimes she allows it, but its like she'll realise what's happening and she'll stop and recoil.

She's 5. Her dad and I split when she was 2. She has seen him exactly twice in a year. I don't get it

Monkey had a hard morning. This means mommy had a hard morning.

It started out typically enough. I turned on her light, as I went to get in the shower, and said "Time to wake up Princess!"

As I was getting ready My Love commented that Monkey is a grump this morning. I reminded him that she is always a grump first thing. We ladies, are not what you call morning people.

I made her lunch, as always, and got mine together while she got her self dressed followed by her customary, "Look at me!" pose in the kitchen.

I told her she was beautiful and to go brush her hair and her teeth....
You would think I told her to go scoop barn mud.

She wrinkled her brow and proceeded to with, "Nooooooo! I already. It's not bedtime. I don't haf to brush my teeeeeeeth!"


ROUND I (in the kitchen)

"Monkey, don't argue. You don't want icky breath all day. Go brush your hair and your teeth."

"No. I NOT! I already brush my hair!", hands on her hips, one foot in front of the other stance.

"We are going to be late. Go BRUSH YOUR TEETH, and brush your hair again."



ROUND II (in the bathroom)

"Monkey, put your hands down and let me brush your hair."

"I ALREADY! NO! You use your brush, not my Tinker Bell bruuuusssshhhhh!"

"Monkey, stop wining and yelling and let me brush your hair!"

"NO! I ALLLLREAAAADYYY!", hands on top of her dread locked, hand in a light socket, resembling hair. "JUST STOOOPPP!"

Mommy wants to throttle Monkey. Brush lands on floor. Mommy exits bathroom wishing to sell monkey to band of gypsies.




Round III - mommy's bedroom

"Mommy," crying the I'm not getting my way cry "Mommy, Monkey is talking to you! Mommy Look at Monkey's eyes! MOMMY!!!" stomps feet

Mommy continues getting things together, alarm on phone rings signaling time to leave.

"When you stop yelling at me I will listen to you Monkey. You need to stop, NOW, or I'm going to have to spank you."

Mommy exits room heading for kitchen... and coffee!


"I'm leaving Monkey. Are you coming with me or are you going to stay home with the horses today?"

(please keep in mind Monkey is 5... and I would never ever ever ever ever actually leave her at home)


Mommy exits kitchen, heads down porch to start truck.

Monkey gets jacket and backpack and runs to the truck, "YOU CANT LEAVE ME! MOMMY I'M SORRY! Mommy... Monkey Loves You!"

yee-gads! Someone, tell me... how did I get myself at 15 in a 5 year old?




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