My Own Best Friend

I may or may not have actually had more than one of these conversations recently.

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(me) "Hi! Will you be my friend?"

(random 1) "Uh, I am your friend."

(me) "Sweet! Lets hang out."

(random 1) "I'm busy."

(me) "Ok, lets hang out when you're not busy."

(random 1) "I'm always busy."

(me) "Well what are you busy doing? Maybe I can help, or be busy with you."

(random 1) "Mostly, I'm busy hanging out with my friends."

(me) "So, you're too busy hanging out with your friends?"

(random 1) "Yeah, I have alot of friends."

(me) "So we can be friends but we cant hang out?"

(random 1) "Yea, pretty much."

(me) "That's not a friend."

(random 1) "Well I still think were friends, always. No Matter What."

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(me) "Hi! Will you be my friend?"

(random 2) "Uh, whats in it for me?"

(me) "Being my friend is in it for you."

(random 2) "Thats it?"

(me) "Yeah!"

(random 2) "Nothing else?"

(me) "Well, I'm a pretty awesome friend."

(random 2)"I have enough friends."

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(me) "Hi, can I be your friend?"

"Sure."

(me) "Cool. Wanna get some coffee and maybe go for a walk?"

"Sure."

(me) "So, what's your name?"

"Me."

(me) "Hi, Me. We should probably keep our voices down so all these people dont think we're talking to myself."

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