Because Life Aint Always Beautiful

15 random things that I love:

sunshine - through a window but preferably on my skin

fresh air - especially after it rains and the sun has returned

Tanner the quarterhorse buckskin gelding

the internet - which I completely take for granted

Widmere Drop Top - mmmmmmm

the accomplished feeling I get when I work out - especially when I dont want to

cuddling - in pajamas

monkey's laugh - especially when she's being tickled

blue skies

green grass

the coast - rain or shine

camping - without kiddos (sorry, it's just more fun)

rodeos - bring 'em

dancing - with the Cowboy

and

orange juice - plain old OJ

I sat here all day trying to come up with something to write that I might actually be interested in reading... I got nothin'! It seems so easy to write about the hard stuff and not so easy to think about the good stuff. So I decided to just write some good stuff.... forgive, or enjoy :o)


~cheers

"But It's a Beautiful Day"

That's what Monkey said when I told her she absolutely could not wear a skirt and flip flops to play in the snow.

It is stinkin' COLD here!
*************************************************************************************We had quite the weekend...

Saturday: Monkey and I finished our Christmas shopping, which included getting her ears pierced. All year she's been waiting to ask Santa to get her ears pierced, then she decided to tell him she wanted Hanna Montana Dress Up Clothes, instead.... YIKES! I hate Hanna Montana, but Santa hasn't let her down yet... and that is totally within Santa's budget this year. So, Mommy sprung for earrings a week early and Santa can battle it out with Target later in the week.

*****Sunday we woke to dry snow.*****
Dry snow is nice. Usually the snow here is very wet and, while that makes easy snow balls, it soaks through everything and makes for very cold play.
*****
We spent $200.00 on groceries and $25.00 on movie rentals, for the power to go out for 4 hours, just moments after I got the food put in the fridge.
*****
Of course I used up almost all of my candles when the crazy horse lady was home, because she still smokes in the house and it reeeeeeeeks so I burn candles to make it just a little more tolerable. And the wood stove was covered in Cd's and DVDs and what have you, because I don't need a wood stove... I have a perfectly functional furnace! So we had 2 candles going, which Monkey kept blowing out, and the ancient oil lamp that needs a new wick (but we made it work.)
*****
The hose was frozen, because up to this point winter was showing no sign of making an appearance this year.
*****
Along with the frozen hose, was a frozen spicket, an empty torch, and two empty horse toffs. (JOY!)
*****
Last year, we were pretty prepared for winter. It came upon us gradually and stayed a little too long. (we had snow in May, and the fields flooded on spring break so we went kayaking in the pasture.) We drained the hoses every night, kept the spicket covered with hay, and the wood stove was not covered with stuff because the furnace was broken for 2 months.
*****
anyway...
*****
The power decided to come back on, about 5 seconds after I got a fire going in the wood stove (which took half an hour to unclutter.)
*****
I was pleased to locate a 2nd oil lamp, stashed in the cupboard in the laundry closet. A cupboard that I don't actually recall seeing until it was dark and cold and I was on a mission to find more candles, flash lights, batteries, and lamp oil.
I also found a brand new torch in, what next week will be Mr Man's room
*****
I did get my love to sit down and play cards instead of watching TV, even after the power came back on.
Ultimately, the evening turned out pretty nice. Monkey got to watch Kung Fu Panda (twice), a well planned salmon dinner was not spoiled due to our adventure with out power, I discovered a few new and previously unexplored nooks and crannies in the sinking house, and all of the horses remain well hydrated!
*****
This may be my only post this week... it's supposed to snow somethin' fierce tomorrow and I may not make it out the driveway again.
*****
Stay Warm wherever you are!

cheers :o)
*************************************************************************************
(* these are snowflakes or ice crystals for the purpose of this post. just go with it.)

Well That Wont Do At ALL!

Howdy!


So I don't post as often as I originally planned, but I'll work on that... perhaps. I've been cyber-stalking many other blogs for inspiration whilst taking special care not to be a blog stealer... there is definitely some entertaining stuff out there!


The past year and a half has been one of continual change for me. Change for the better, which is still stressful, just much more enjoyable.

I quit smoking (YAY!) I got a new job, which I basically enjoy, that actually supports me and Monkey without forcing us to live on Mac and Cheese and Ramen. I met a new man, a real man, a man's man, and subsequently fell in love (awwwww).

I moved just far enough out of the city to be away from everything, yet close enough to see my family and commute to work.



I became a dog owner,
a horse owner,





a "going to be step-mom",
and got unofficially engaged (or pretend married as we affectionately call it).


I went to my first Rodeo.





I learned what real friendship is and more importantly what it is NOT; in this lesson I also learned that I truly am blessed with an amazing family and I have taken that for granted for most of my life.... oh yeah, and a delightful patch of cellulite has taken up residence in that lovely area just below my ASS!

Big Changes!

Seriously, just before tanning season last spring I was drying off getting ready to lather my skin with coco butter and there it was... this dimply, some what chicken skin resembling patch just below what used to be my cute and perky butt... "What the hell is that?" escaped my lips as I ran my finger tips over my skin. I started my spring tanning but it never went away. I tried to hide it from my love... and myself. But when I start hiding my body, I lose confidence and from there everything begins to sink. Ever since that day it seems I can feel my thighs and my tush expanding...filling out my jeans in a whole new way... and I don't like it!



In the course of all the wonderful changes, have gained about 25 pounds. Now, I will say that I was probably not at my healthiest two years ago. I fit into a size 2, but everyone who knew me told me I needed to gain some weight. But this 25 pounds of "Happy Weight", does not feel good on my body. I've been reading (as I stated) a lot of blogs in the past couple of months, and there is a common theme to much of what I'm reading.... being healthy! Not just losing weight and 'ideal' size, or what diet someone is on. It's about getting happy and being healthy.

I get pretty unfriendly when I'm feeling like crap about myself. I tend to drive people away from me, subconsciously, which really just makes me feel worse about myself and deepens the hole I crawl into. So I've been trying really hard lately to stop snipping at people, and complaining about everything I can think of, and taking things personally, and pushing people away.... but I feel like crap and my jeans keep getting tighter and I'm craving all these really unhealthy foods (donuts, candy...CRAP!) and nothing is satisfying me. I joined a gym in October and have gone exactly twice, meanwhile I KNOW that if I just got my rear back into shape (oh how I miss it's shape), that I would feel better be nicer and the negativity around me would begin to dissipate.

So, I am making my resolution for 2009 a month early. Starting today, I will get back into my workout routine, I will not give in to those pesky cravings, and I will stop drinking beer or wine or whiskey and seven, every night! I am going to use this Blog to keep myself on track, so if you are reading, a little encouragement goes a LONG way with me :o)

My Goals (set 1):


To lose 10 pounds before Valentines day.

To run 1 mile without stopping.

To utilize my gym membership by, at a MINIMUM, going to cycling every week.


LET THE BUTT SHAPING BEGIN!

Cherry Popsicle ~ Peppermint Mocha

Some quiet would be nice.
Nothing profound or exotic.
Just some quiet.
And perhaps a little fresh air.

A beach ride perhaps.
Just me and Tanner (he doesnt talk much)
To rest. To breathe. To feel life.
Peaceful - Timeless.

perhaps
...
A storm-walk.
The thundering silence
of waves and rain,
washing over me
soaking to my bones.

The Swamp and The Crazy Horse Lady

For the past year I have lived on a ranch. Technically the ranch is on wetlands so, it would be more accurate to say, from October through April it's a swamp. On the ranch are 30 horses, one is mine, two are my love's, and the other 27 belong to the crazy horse lady (read; crazy cat lady only with horses) who pays the other half of the rent and the untilites (when she remembers).
I heart the crazy horse lady, she has some great stories about when she was cowboying in Wyoming and south-eastern Oregon, and how she learned things from 'real' old timers, and she is mostly a kick in the pants. She's got some interesting views on politics, horses, aliens, recycling and anything that may possibly have a hint of liberalism... but I respect her anyway. You can teach me something that may change my understanding, but you cant ever tell me that what I believe is wrong and what you believe is right and expect me to change my beliefs on that basis alone. She gets that, so we're good.
You know how people say never discuss Politics and Religion, well she throws horses in there too, then she talks non stop about Politics and Horses like she is the end all be all know all on both subjects and she will argue with you even when you are agreeing with her. It's amusing in small doses, and since I'm not much of a debater I let her and my love go at it while I listen in and laugh.

I grew up in the suburbs so when I first moved to the ranch I felt so lucky, not many people that I know have an opportunity to live on a ranch and take care of horses everyday. That feeling has waned substantially in the past 12 months. Dont get me wrong, I love the space. I love the horses, their sounds, their smell, their presence. I love the hay, in all of it's glorious itchiness. I even love the clockwork train that rattles my house at 7pm, 11pm, and 530am. I accepted my newly discovered allergies, and the fact that a couple cats, while annoying in their own right, are better than even a single mouse in the house.
I dont love my slowly sinking house; apparently living on a swamp has repricussions on a foundation. I dont love the musty smell it's taken on or the lovely, bar like, air quality that signifies when the crazy horse lady is home. I dont really love sharing my space, ie. other than my love and his children, no more roommates. And I dont love lugging 4 bales of hay, one at a time, through knee high mud in the rain everynight to feed 20 horses that should have been sold last spring but the crazy horse lady stayed home for 4 months then didnt stick to her plan.
This should not be misconstrued as me not loving the horses. I feel sad for the horses, I dont want to resent the horses, it's not their fault. I'm sure they wish they had thousands of acres to roam, instead of just 40. I'm sure they want endless supplies of food to keep them plump all winter long. But I know that most of them would rather be out in the field than in a stall, they dont like stalls.
Next year, come springtime, when the mares are putting new foals on the ground, and the yearlings are starting to look more like horses and less like large deer, when my newly discovered allergies flare back up, and the mud starts to get hard again, we will leave the ranch. Even in these craptacular economic times, we are planning to buy at least 5 acres, a house with room for 6 (his, mine and us), two dogs and a barn for our 3 (unmultiplying) horses.