Don't Cowboys Ride Horses and Drive Big Trucks?

Recently, I promised the Cowboy that I wouldn't charge anything else to my credit card. We are consolidating a few things in order to pay them off at a lower rate (blah-blah-blah) and save bu-ku-bucks for Hawaii.

I, oh so responsibly, told Blondie and Princess that we absolutely could not go shopping "just to look", suspended my B&N Nook account and haven't even opened iTunes this week because there is always "just one" new CD song, that I "need to buy, today."

(OK, so technically I cant actually suspend my B&N account. But I've not purchased any new books in the past week, which is so the same thing.)

The other day he called me at work, from a car dealership and said, "Honey, can you come test drive this car, I think I'm gonna buy it."

(dot dot dot)

I tried, in vain, to talk him out of it.

That man is as thick as the Great Wall of China sometimes.

I told him to leave the car at the dealership, go home, and that we could talk about it. I explained that, if it was meant to be, the car would still be there for us to purchase when the dealership opened the next morning.

I thought he understood that I wasn't saying "You can not buy the car, ever."
I was merely saying, "You should not buy that car, today."

I'm naive.

This was sitting in my driveway when I got home.




This is not for me to drive.

He "let" me drive it home from our friend's birthday party because... well it doesn't matter why.

First, "This is not a good year for you to get your boobs 'enhanced'."

Then, "You really need to watch your frivilous spending; And yes, $50.00 flip-flips are frivilous... I dont care if they're designed to boost your booty."

Now, "Honey, I work hard and I commute further than you. I deserve the new car."

(sigh.)

I am so going to buy new running shoes tomorrow.

and likely those flip-flops also!

Locked out and Locked in

It's one of those extra special days here at the Fickle house!

I got up at 4:30 and made The Cowboy his lunch, went back to bed til around 5:15, got Monkey up, we showered, we dressed, I grabbed my purse, locked the bedroom door to keep the heathen out of my crap, and headed to the kitchen. I poured my coffee and orange juice, took my vitamins, helped Monkey brush the back of her hair, and headed toward the garage while digging in my purse for my keys...

No keys.

... (light bulb!)...

After a momentary pause I remember why I never, under any circumstances, put my keys in my pocket.

My keys are in my jacket.

And where is my jacket?

...not on the computer chair; where I usually attempt to hang it to show the heathen that we don't just leave our things carelessly around the house.

(If you're not going to put something away, at least make it look like it belongs where you leave it.)

...not tossed carelessly on the arm of the couch; where The Cowboy and I typically deposit our his hoodies, coats, hats, gloves, etc.

(I know... we're awesome role models.)

My jacket is hanging on my bedpost. Right where I left it last night after unloading the shit-ton of Christmas gifts, that I purchased yesterday, into my closet.

I am stuck at the house, all day, in my work clothes (because of course my laundry is never in the laundry room, ready to be washed), trying to entertain a Monkey who cant get to school because I cant drive because my car keys are locked in my bedroom!

I actually called my office and told them that. Seriously, if I was just trying to get out of going to work I'd have come up with a way better lame-ass excuse.

I keep going upstairs to try to get stuff out of my room or put laundry away. I even got the bright idea to wrap all the presents while everyone but Monkey is gone for the day. But the presents are locked in my room, with my keys. and the wrapping paper, tape, scissors, bows, pretty colorful super-fine-tipped Sharpies, and my wedding guest list which would be handy for sending out my Christmas cards.

I thought about working out, but I realised I'm in work clothes.

Maybe I'll bake something. Yeah! Maybe if I get all of the domestic things done, that I don't have time to do because I work all day, and if have a big dinner on the table and a smile on my face and I'm still in my "nice" work clothes instead of my green Hollister sweats or yoga pants, when The Cowboy gets home then he'll let me quit my crappy job and stay home! I can become all Martha Stuart-like and I can play with my horse while the kids are at school and I can work out and shop and be crafty and bloggy and ... and ...

Oh! What...Sorry...
Then there's reality and all...

(sigh.)

Well... at least I got a post in :o)
Oh! and the heathen's laundry is finally done.


If I don't write before then, Have a Very Very Merry Christmas!


~cheers

Enlighten Me... Please!

The Cowboy: Where do eggs come from?

Me: Um.. chickens...

The Cowboy: But the chickens come from eggs, so where do eggs come from?
Me: Chickens. The chickens came first.

The Cowboy: Then where did the chickens come from?

Me: God. God spoke and created everything... remember?!

The Cowboy: Oh yeah.

(pause.)

The Cowboy: So, why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: To get to the other side... obviously.

The Cowboy: Well, what was on the other side that was so important?

Me: The rooster.

(giggle.)

The Cowboy: You're naughty.

(more giggling.)


~cheers!

Three Love Letters

Dear The Wonderful People at Chase;

Congratulations on your acquisition of WAMU! I'm sure you are very excited about the new surge of business coming your way.
Personally, I think it's sad that so many people are now being forced to deal with your incompetence and complete disregard for your customers. I, for one, completely understand. I'm sure acquiring all of those struggling mortgages was a brilliant idea, given the kickbacks Uncle Sam is going to give you when they all finally go into foreclosure. But really, you should be just a little bit willing to actually try sell the houses while they are in short-sale. If not for the fact that foreclosure can destroy a family's credit, think about the families out there that have been responsible and are able to buy in these times. If you dont want to sell anything, just say so. But losing paperwork, twice, and then taking the maximum 14 days, EACH TIME, to look at a damn fax, is just a little ridiculous.
I am not trying to steal a property from you. I would like to purchase it at a fair market value; which is completely insane on my part anyway, but that's beside the point. I have financing available. All I need your "customer service agent" to do is to say, "Yes, we will accept this price." or "No, a person's life earnings, is not quite enough for this particular plot of land and moderate house." That's all you really have to do. Yes, or No. If you say, "No." I can hopefully get an offer in on another property that is not in short sale, and which I love far more than the one you own, before my pre-approval expires and I have to start this entire process over again. The problem is the Cowboy, the wonderful loving man that he is, wants the house that you own, more than his children or our pending marriage. (ok, not literally.) He thinks it's perfect for our needs and that the work needed to make it our dream home is far less than that of the house I actually want.
So please, just answer that pesky real estate agent that calls you every day. Just tell her "No. We actually want this property to foreclose so that we can destroy a family's credit, then sell it for less than what your people are offering." or say, "Sure, we will accept this offer. Assuming that, in another 45 days in the closing process, the buyers bank is still willing to offer them the killer financing deal they've spent the last 5 months trying to secure."

May your greedy asses fry in your Lear jets!

A Slightly Disgruntled Would-Be Home Buyer

... ... ... ...

Dear Gigantic-ASS Hornet,

It was kind of you to greet me in the bathroom this morning. You are lucky that I was only wrapped in a towel and that Mr Man was still home, lest you would have been smashed into, and likely along with, my medicine cabinet's mirror. Your dance around the light bulbs was awe inspiring. It's almost like you knew I was waiting to hit you with my hairbrush just as soon as you got far enough away from anything breakable.
I'm not entirely sure how you got in there, while I slept, but I hope you find your way out before I get home.
There is a large can of Raid waiting for you.

Loathing You,
The Girl Who's Shower You Ruined

... ... ... ...

Dear Monkey,

Please quit kissing Henry!
You are only 6. You can not have a boyfriend for at least 20 more years! Trust me, boys are really not worth your time until then anyway.

Love
Your Mommy





~cheers!

CLASSIFIED!

Back in January my mother took my sister and I to the Bridal Show. An overwhelming event held at the Convention Center where all of the big shops in the Metro area rent booths and try to convince brides-to-be that if they don't book every aspect of their wedding five years in advance, their wedding will be disastrous. It's a cross between wandering through a mall full of kiosk vendors who want to put smear you with crappy lotion and shopping for a used car. But we endured, and I managed to get all the information I could possibly want or need without committing to anything that day.

The most important parts of the wedding, to me, were my dress, location, and the photographer. I confess, since confirming these three essentials I've kind of slacked off on everything else. It got really frustrating at first. It seemed like every vendor I called was already booked, or had booked up in the time it took me to call them back. Apparently, Christmas was not early enough to get engaged in order to plan an August wedding. (Seriously, one vendor all but said that.) Fortunately, things are coming together. We got a great outdoor venue that includes catering, and booze! (SCORE!) Our photographer has an incredible portfolio! The flowers are handled. The cake is ordered. All I really need is a minister, and I still have 4 months to go so... Whoever said it takes a year (or a decade) to plan a wedding is just trying to get your money before anyone else does.

Which brings me to, The Dress!

Almost immediately after The Cowboy proposed, I started looking at dresses. I didn't really have anything in mind at first, but I knew that something super extravagant was just not my style. I got a couple of ideas, and while meandering though the Bridal show, I saw a dress that stopped me in my tracks. I walked up to the lady at the booth and said "I have to try that dress on." She smiled, opened her little appointment book and penciled me in for the next weekend.

Fast forward seven days...

We booked two dress fittings that day. The first in Clackamas at 9am the other in Longview at 1pm.

Coffee ingested and a little weary, we entered the first shop. It took an hour just to look though all of the dresses. Each cut has a section, and each section had between 10 and 25 dresses. Once I had picked one or two from each section we proceeded to the dressing room. The process of elimination had begun. Many were easy to nix before I even looked in the mirror. I never felt like such a princess (I kinda liked it.) (shhhh.) Trying on wedding dresses is a lot like playing dress up! (maybe that's what it's all about.) I narrowed it down to two and had to put them both on twice before I picked the one I really liked.

I knew it was nothing like the dress that I had seen at the bridal show, but I really felt like Cinderella in it. I almost cried when I had it on, then I felt silly for being all girly, only to be reminded by several strangers that brides are supposed to get all excited and emotional when they find the dress. We took down all of the information about the dress and told our attendant that I needed a day to think about it. She tried everything she could to get me to order that dress that day, but I told her if it really was the one that I wouldn't need to rush... I still had 8 months!

We stopped in Vancouver to pick up my Grandmother, on the way to Longview. All the way up there all I could think about was how I felt in that dress, and how incredibly exhausted I was.

We got to the cute little hole in the wall shop. There was a tiny (in comparison) section to the right, a platform with 3 mirrors to the left, and a larger room full of hideous prom dresses to the left of that. The dressing rooms in the back. The owner checked us in, I told her I wanted to try on the dress from the bridal show, she said she knew the one and told me to go ahead and look through what she had hanging just to see if there was anything else I liked. I picked 3 other dresses, and almost immediately discarded them in comparison to the dress from the Clackamas store. She saved the one from the bridal show for last. She said she just had a feeling about it.

It's not extravagant. It's rather simple actually. It doesn't have a bustle, it doesn't require a slip, the train is an accessory that I later decided to add.

The minute I put it on I knew it was The One, as assuredly as I know The Cowboy is the one. I wasn't emotional. I didn't feel like a silly girly princess. I felt like a confident, beautiful woman. I went out to the platform and imagined the look on his face when he sees me for the first time on our wedding day. It was (is.) perfect! I found a simple veil on the rack that didn't cover my face, but is a hair piece, with these clear sequined "daisyesque" flowers all around the trim, which completely matches the detail on the dress. The shop owner was a little surprised when I showed her. She said she couldn't have picked a better one for that dress.

I made my decision. My mother was hesitant. She said I didn't look as excited about it as the one at the other shop. I told her I was tired, but I knew this was my dress. The shop owner told us it could take 12 weeks to get the dress in so we needed to order it as soon as possible. I didn't want to drive back up to try it on again so I decided then and there to just go with it. As she made her calls to place the order and started all of the paper work, my mother just looked at me with questioning eyes. She was trying to read me, to see if I was settling. Upon passing her silent quiz, she paid for the dress.

I slept so hard that night. I dreamt that the dress came in and I hated it. That I wished I had picked the other dress, and that I felt awkward on my wedding day and everything was just awful. I woke up a little panicked, but reassured myself that I picked the right dress and would have had the same thoughts about the other dress had we decided to go with that one.

The dress came in two weeks ago. (12 weeks my ass.) I took Monkey with me to try it on again, and you know what? I LOVE IT more than I did the first time I tried it on! When Monkey saw it she said, "Oh Mommy, it's perfect."

It Is Perfect!

(and since this blog is my secret... I can post a picture for you to see!)
(no that's not me.)




~cheers!

Busted!

Everyone knows that all men look at porn. That's a given. It's expected.
That being said, it still bums me out when I actually bust The Cowboy looking at porn on the computer. It's a little "awe com'on" when I find it in his phone, but to come home from picking up my wedding dress, walk up the back steps and look through the back door (which is a big window) to see naked chicks on the computer monitor... it's a little depressing.

All in all I think I handled it well. I shook the handle (to get his attention.) set my purse down on the porch, told monkey to go find the puppies, so she wouldn't catch a glimpse, and methodically started digging for my keys. He had to close several screens before he could come open the door. He was pale... that part was funny. He thought my mom was with me. Fortunately she had decided not to come in. I didn't say anything, but I didnt act like I wasnt saying anything because I was upset either. I just went through the kitchen and set down my things then went to folding the laundry.

I know The Cowboy likes beautiful naked women. I've happened upon his "picture" files on more than one occasion. And, I've met more than one of his ex-girlfriends. I know it's silly to let it bug me and I try really hard not to, because I know that ALL guys do it. There is just something about not being ogled by the man who wants to marry me, knowing that he ogles lots of far more beautiful, photo shopped women, that just ...

dammit! it hurts my feelings and makes me feel inadequate.
OK I said it.

I know it's stupid and lame and well... stupid and lame, but I cant help it. God didn't bless me with beautiful full breasts and it's something I've always been very self conscious of. I've suggested a remedy to this problem, but he seems to think that should I get this "correction" it will automatically mean I will cheat on him... because apparently that's what women do when they get that done. I have a different opinion; these are for ME!

Him being fully aware of this insecurity of mine does not stop him from hunting down better things to look at, on the internet. I don't even know how to broach this subject with him. I know that, really, I just need to get over it. I know he does it... just something about catching him, not just finding the pictures, but actually catching him surfing thorough them...
grrrr......


~cheers (it's Friday)

Dear Future Father-In-Law

Remember your ex-daughter-in-law? Well, I'm nothing like her; I'm not going anywhere. So play nice. Because trust me Sir, I'm going to out live you. Which means, I can tell everyone who thinks that you're upstanding (a short list I assure you) what a bitter, rotten, bastard you really are. It also means I will likely get to speak at your funeral.

Love Always (because I'm going to be required to),
Your Adoring Almost Daughter-In-Law

PS
Just wait till I get to sign the checks ;o)
XOXO
~~~~~~~~~


I remember as a kid being told, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." I was never very good a keeping this motto.

It has taken many moons for me to learn that speaking my mind is not always the intelligent thing to do. Sometimes it's better to let other people bury themselves, than to call them out on their idiocy. While biting my tongue, quite literally at times, may be a bit painful; it's never quite as bad as eating my own words or worse having to apologise because, wrong or right, my opinions are neither wanted or appreciated.

Having said that...

I think it's best I bite my tongue.
and smile politely.

~cheers

White Russian Blackberry Cheesecake

I'm trying to decide on a cake for the wedding, but I'm not a cake person. I love cheesecake... like more than anything in the world of desserts, but I come from a family of lacotse intolerant people, so having cheesecake as my wedding cake would be just cruel. Besides, it's in August so I scrapped that thought. Then I stumbled upon a list of "Specialty Cakes" on one bakery's website... HEAVEN!
Kahlua Mudslide: Chocolate cake soaked with vodka, baileys and Kahlua, filled with a french vanilla cream.
Peaches and Cream: Moist white cake baked with fresh peaches soaked with peach schnapps filled with white chocolate cream.
*Have a favorite drink let us know we can create just about any flavor*
Black Forest Cake: chocolate cake with french vanilla cream, chocolate ganache and cherries
and of course: White russian blackberry cheesecake

I MUST SAMPLE HERE!!!

Then I went to my cycling class, and kicked my own butt... seriously, just reading White Russian Blackberry Cheesecake (my mouth is watering again...) I felt I needed to burn off the calories I fully intend to consume when I taste this cake.

~~~~~

I tend to space off.

Seriously! My brain just shuts down and I become just mildly conscious of the fact that there are things going on around me. I think people refer to it as daydreaming, but I don't dream about anything... kind of like when I sleep... THAT'S IT! I'm daysleeping.

When I get caught in this state, it can take me a few seconds to "wake up". Some people don't notice so much, others think it's weird. I did it at a cafe the other day and Cowboy (my love) made fun of me. He said I went cross eyed. I think he was full of it, but then again things do get a little fuzzy...
I think sometimes my brain just needs to rest and sort out it's intake so it kind of just goes in sleep mode for 15-30 seconds to reset.

This doesn't really bother me. It's something that has always happened. It happens more when I'm stressed or overtired. It's actually kind of relaxing.

anywhoo...

~~~~~

We got pre-approval for a mortgage! YES!!! Cowboy is still diligently scouring John L Scott's website, every-stinkin-day. The same houses are there. The very same ones we've been looking at for 6 months... Now he's not ready to actually talk to the realtor and go LOOK at the houses. We're right there... it's at our fingertips...

~cheers~

Dancing Crazy Superbug Love

I'm getting the superbug. I can feel it in my muscles. I'm achy and tired and feeling all around craptacular.

But I made it to work today. Half asleep at the wheel. Seriously! Driving half asleep is worse than driving after perhaps consuming one or three too many.

(Not that I have ever done that.)

Moving on.

I had a blast Saturday night! We went out for a friend's birthday; and it seemed that everyone we knew, related to that friend and not, was at the bar, in good spirits (or full of them) and having a fabulous time. We danced most of the night, got to catch up with some friends we haven't seen in a while, and really enjoyed ourselves... OH! and we only spent forty bucks!

(seriously, two alchys in a bar for 4 hours only spending $40... that's just awesome, wouldn't you say?)

I will take a moment to say that I do not miss my old friends. I do not miss the drama, I do not miss the fighting, I certainly do not miss their apparent need to create drama and fights in the event that something is not already brewing.

Yes. Saturday night, Life was GRAND!

However.

I was crazy pregnant woman yesterday.
Except I'm not pregnant, so I guess I was just...
crap!

It was one of those days that should have been spent in bed, with a book and earplugs. Instead it was spent on one emotionally distraught misadventure after another; while my love did actually feed most of my roller coaster, he also caught the receiving end of the majority of my frustration, agitation, raw emotion, and subsequent burnt pizza.

The alarms should have sounded when I felt like crying, yes crying at the discovery that there were not enough eggs to make french toast, like I wanted. So My Love decided to make pancakes instead.

Saturday morning, I took the girls adventuring. He made himself an extraordinary to do list, which upon it's completion would have left Sunday for us to spend at our leisure. Only, unbeknown to me, he got to his parent's house, parked his rear in front of the computer and didn't come home until 8:00 pm, when we were supposed to be across town at a friend's birthday party.

At the discovery that, once again, our Sunday was going to be spent chasing everything he neglected to do on Saturday, I was... less then happy. THEN He sat on his rear, in front of the computer AGAIN, looking at houses for 2 hours, THEN he had to read the paper, THEN...

Ok, it was just NOT a good day.

Today, aside from being achy and tired and almost killing multiple people in my half asleep drive to the office, has been pretty ok.

I'm sheepishly trying to make ammends with My Love, who is surprisingly not ready to kill me.

(He did tell me not to ever have a bad day again.)

I discovered Google Reader. (sigh.) I'm in love. The office shall never be the same.

I also had my first Diet Rockstar in more than a month.

Oh -- it's raining. And truth be known, I'm glad.

~cheers

The Return to Random

I offer my apologies for the... crappyness of my blog.

I started off as random as my brain is, then it seems I sank into somewhere yucky.
I'm trying to resurrect the spunky side of me; winter can be such a bitch sometimes.

Bear with me... I'm trying :o)

~~

Hi there Mr. Sun!



You are my friend. I love to walk with you in the afternoon. To feel your warmth on my face, even when you are not strong enough to warm the air around me.
I cant wait for the flowers to bloom and the cold to stop... please keep up the good work and come out more often, I've missed you!
xoxo

~~

Dear Mister Jerk-O, (I forgot the other name I called you in this blog. It may or may not have been nicer, but I assure you it had the same loathing sentiment behind it.)
Learn how to write a packing slip. If the client ordered 200 sets, we are billing for 200 sets, and sending 200 sets, write 200 sets not 600 pieces.
I know it makes sense in your brain, but not all of us think like you. That doesn't mean either one of us is wrong, per se. It just means that if I cant bill it so the client understands it, well... you did it wrong!
Enjoy your 3 day weekend. I'm scheming to clean out your desk while you are away.

The Naggy Bitch in the office

~~

Today is Friday.
It's Friday, it's Friday... doin' the happy dance!

~~

Oh! So, I got new boots for Valentines Day!



Because My Love loves me. He keeps saying I'm spoiled. But I reassure him that I'm just loved!

Thank you My Love! I hope you enjoyed your massage... oh and I bought you that cologne you love because I also LOVE it. So open it and wear it... every day... please!

~~

I also got this new phone, at "wizen-wizer's" as monkey says. It's pretty SWEET!

It's got a touch screen, a QWERTY keyboard, a decent camera, two incredible screens, and an actual web browser; which I completely admit I love but have yet to actually master.

I still amused just playing with the scrolling part of the touch screen. It's just fun to watch my contact list and inbox spin uuuuppppppp and dooooownnnn, with the touch of my finger.
Yes. I know that I'm as easily amused as a small child. That's part of the greatness of being ME!

(I know the US is in a depression and everyone is freaking out and scrimping and saving and here I am planning a wedding, applying for a mortgage and buying new boots and a new phone... but there are a handful of us that are still working and doing our best to single handedly revive the economy. BESIDES, my other phone snapped in half one day when I flipped it open... seriously! One of the hinges broke and the top part spun around backwards when I opened it.)

~~

Coffee... need I say more?
oooooh frozen berries for my oatmeal!

~~

... Cheers!

I'm Outta' Here

Happy Fried-day!

I have nothing too pertinent to share today. Which means this is going to be long post, doesn't it?

I'm sad that my former co-office goddess has chosen to part with ME in a negative light. Her uncle let her go, because she doesn't want to come in and work, she just wants to write herself checks once a week. Things slowed down to the point that he doesn't need two people in the office anymore... and for somehow that makes me the wretched b**** who deserved to be shunned. Sad yes, I am. So is she.

We're off to find a wedding site tomorrow. We being my mom and I. I'm excited and annoyed. My love... oh how I love thee. Why on earth did I think that he would be any different than any other male when it came to planning our wedding? I dunno either, but for some reason I thought he'd at least help me pick a place. Oh No! I wanted small and intimate, he wanted a real wedding. OK I can do real wedding. Now his input is limited to "If we have it on a Friday people wont come." that's all... nothing more.
PSSSSHHHHH~
ooh ooh ooh I did find a pretty dress though!

I'm not big on football, but beings that I am "maritally required" to root for the Steelers, YAY Steelers! (or whatever.) We are going to a Superbowl party on Sunday, so that should be fun, right? Hang out with a bunch of My Love's friends wives, who thought I was a flash in the pan and are now forced to remember my name because I'm not goin' anywhere. I love these few and far between shindigs... practice the smile that shows in your eyes, be polite, and remember they don't want you to engage in their conversation just pretend that you're interested in what they're saying.

OH, and the last thing I will blurb about today... something I don't think many women say... I love my bathroom scale! I bought one last weekend, and while I'm sure it was just adjusting or whatever those things do... the past 3 days it has consistently showed the same weight, which is 4 pounds less than it said the three days before that! So, Yay for little insignificant things that keep the happy bubble inflated!

Have a joyous weekend!

~cheers

Standing In Line pt.1

Close your eyes and imagine, with me...

(ok, don't really close your eyes unless you have transperant eyelids. you wont be able to read where you're going)

I'm next in line, on top of the Stratosphere, waiting to go on that ride that shoots you out over the edge. I'm excited, my heart is pounding, I have crazy butterflies in my tummy, and I'm just a little bit scared. What if it breaks down, and I'm left hovering over the edge of the building for hours?! What if there's a huge earthquake and the tower colapses?! What if the car I'm in goes flying off the tracks and flings me out over Las Vegas Blvd?! What if I already paid $15 for my ticket and stood in line for half an hour... I'm getting on that ride!

Overwhelmed, I am.
Trying to get My Love to call the realtor, is apparently like pulling teeth from anyone but Monkey's mouth.

(she discovered the Tooth-Fairy and has since become obsessed with wiggly teeth.)

My Love procrastinates, more than anyone I know. He can concoct the best laid plans one ever, and they remain that... plans. He has the best intentions, truly, but lacks the follow through.

(except on Christmas. but that was sporadic. in my experience, things generally work best when they are not planned.)

We are finding places that would be absolutely perfect for us. We know we will pre-qualify. So all he really has to do is make contact with two people, the realtor and the broker (I have to call my credit union guy). We decided once we are officially pre-approved from 2 sources, we can start actually visiting places we are interested in and make an offer. The process can take a couple of months (I'm told.)

I, mostly, just want assurance that we have a place. Our own home, that we can decorate however we want. Where we can play music when we want to and stomp on the floow should we choose, because no one lives below us to complain about the noise. Where I can put on a load of laundry and clean the kitchen at 3:00 in the morning, without disturbing anyone else, if I can't sleep. And having a bedroom door... that would be, just about, the best thing in the whole world. I want to know, that nothing on this earth is gong to stop us from moving. I am so over the Swamp Ranch and the sinking house and having roommates who think I'm Cinderella.

We are planning to move in June. So in his mind, we have until June. NO!! We have to get the ball rolling, like now. That way come June, amidst rodeo, camping, birthdays and school ending, we can move. and focus solely on finalizing wedding plans...

... wedding plans...

Fiance is a Funny Word

Lots to share. I am really scatterbrained today. More so than usual. I wish I had the mental capacity to write something detailed and witty or annoying, about the past week, but alas, I do not.... many apologies!

The kids have been staying with us (read: devouring everything in the kitchen) for the past week and a half. It's been quite entertaining, especially with all of the snow. (which is rapidly melting.)

The girls and I baked a Pumpkin pie and a Cherry pie for Christmas, did I tell you that already? Both of which were devoured! (YAY!) This is the first year I've made pies, usually I bring the rolls (it's traditionally safer that way) but everyone loved the pies and they have officially become my assignment. I was a little bit sad because no one ate my mom's apple or pecan pies. Except me of course, I heart Pecan Pie and I like that my mom makes one even if I'm the only one who eats it!

Christmas night... my love PROPOSED!
He went to The Shane Co, Christmas eve, and picked up the ring that we had previously decided was not going to be purchased, in favor of paying off the truck and saving for a down payment.
He spent the entirety of Christmas day trying to ask my dad. Between myself, my uncles, a fried turkey, and the mass of children playing in the snow, the opportunity did not present itself until I was getting the last of the boxes to take home.
(seriously. packing up Christmas gifts for 6 people is comparable to moving.)
Dad said, "You seem like a great guy. We would love to welcome you to the family."
(awww! I teared up when he told me that my father said that. When my bro-in-law asked to marry my sis dad said "I guess. You'll have to ask her.")
I'm engaged. I have a Fiance ... fee-on-say ... hmmm
(sounds so. formal.)

anywhoo... (I don't really know what else to say about this at this juncture.)

Monkey lost one of her front teeth yesterday. She looks like a pirate and has a very adorable lisp going. When she lost her bottom two teeth, she flushed them both down the toilet! She threw this tooth in the garbage and the girls were kind enough to fish it out then call me and tell me the news. When I left for work this morning there was another, mysterious, silver dollar in the baggie on the counter.

She left the tooth fairy a note under her chalk board saying: Tooth Fairy, my tooth is on the counter. that way you wont wake up the girls. love, pirate princess monkey hannah montana. (this is her new given name by the way.)

The Crazy Horse Lady is due home today, after a month on the road. I'm not much looking forward to her return and I pray that it will be short. Any more than a week, I may start looking for temporary housing in the barn...

There is my short recap. Wedding plans and House hunting adventures are sure to trickle through in many upcoming posts. and I promise (I hope) the pin-wheel effect of my brain will slow and I will come up with something note-worthy to post about.

~cheers!

Finding Balance Between Man and Woman "Things"

"I Only Have To Cook and Clean?! SWEET!" was the original title...

But I my Mother, who won't read this anyway, would be deeply offended if I published that. She raised my sister and I to be very self-sufficent. "A girl can do anything a boy can do! Just buck-up and get it done." --- Thus, a short line of worthless "men" have streamed through her dining room, most of whom did not even know where the engine oil goes or how to start a lawn mower! (but show them an XBox or Playstation and they could be "busy" for days)

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

Obviously, I made it in to work today. My Love had to work so I had to drive myself this morning. I've been chauffeured for the past 3 days because his truck = BIG FORD, my truck = Girl Toyo, and well, I like it when he goes out of his way to take me where I need to go. It makes me feel loved and a little girly, which is nice sometimes.

Driving in was actually pretty fun! My girl truck will go anywhere and I have a renewed faith in myself, the Lord, and my ability to get around no matter what. I don't need no stinking man! ...

(but I love him and I will keep him always)

I like knowing that I can take care of my self. I can change a tire, fix a leaky pipe, hang a shelf, paint a room, and defend myself.

(there's more but I dont want to brag.) <--- = sarcasm, for those who missed it
(smile!)

But finding a Man who,

(1) works for a living
(2) takes care of "man things" at home
and
(3) appreciates my:
desire to learn "man things"
enthusiasm about getting my hands dirty
and doesnt mind that I'll throw down and defend him if I think I need to.

has given me a new appreciation for being a woman.

I hate it when guys treat women like they're weaker because they're women, then expect them to take care of everything while they play XBox or watch football or NASCAR. HELLO! Maybe I want to watch football and NASCAR!

(or go shopping for something besides groceries)

But letting a man act like a man, thus assuming the role of a woman (without becoming prissy and helpless), is not a bad thing. Finding that balance is ... refreshing!

Sometimes, even un-princessy girls like to know there is a big strong man who can (and will happily) take care of things that have traditionally been "Man Things". You know what I'm talking about... changing the oil in your girl truck, fixing broken things around the house, roping unruly horses (then getting drug like a water skier up the gravel driveway when said horses take off like a boat), getting up at 3 in the morning to get you a bottle of water because you woke up thirsty, driving you to work, then out to lunch, when there is 3 feet of snow on the ground... you know, "Man Things".

A man who is willing to do these "Man Things" deserves to have a respectably clean home, his feet and back rubbed, a home cooked meal (at least 4 nights a week), his lunch made in the morning (even if it's left overs), and clean folded laundry... you know, "Woman Things".

A few days a week I help load and unload 40 bales of hay, then get in the back of the truck and throw 4 bales of hay in the field; at least once a week he takes me out to dinner, occasionally he'll mate his own socks and fold the towels, or vaccume or something.

He takes care of me, I take care of him. It's all about balance.

~cheers!

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

We are actually experiencing winter! I don't recall a time in my life that it has snowed this much. It's been going pretty strong for an entire week, and it looks like we may get a white Christmas this year!

The only winter foot wear that I have are my boarding boots, which just aren't practical for everyday wandering in the snow so of course I had to get snow boots!

(any excuse to buy new shoes!) Cute, practical, and they should last many years since we don't get winters like this... ever!

Some people are not as excited about this weather as I, but that's OK. I'm just ecstatic, the kids are having a blast, and boss man is delighted that my love got me to work today...I wasn't about to attempt to drive through the 5 foot snow bank that is at the top of our driveway. Love those snowplows! If I get home before it's dark I'll take pictures, it's kind of unbelievable to those of us who are accustomed to more rain than snow.




We got Mr Man moved out this weekend, and the girls came to stay for the week. The crazy horse lady is due back next weekend so I'm sure they'll be heading home then. I can't blame them, the house gets as smokey as a tavern when she's home. I smoked until just before I moved to the swamp ranch, so I didn't think her smoking would bother me. But even the one time I lived in a house that we actually smoked in, it was not this bad. The woman CHAIN smokes, and doesn't open windows or turn on fans or do anything at all to circulate the air and let us all breathe. Since I initially said it shouldn't be an issue, I cant really protest it now. I understand that she is on the road alot, and when she is home she wants to be comfortable. But she could be just a little bit conscious of the fact that other people live there, and we want to be comfortable when she is home too. (maybe?! is that too much to ask?)



But for now, there is a foot of snow on the ground, the horses seem to be holding up, the power is staying on (so far), and the highway is drivable if you can get out of your driveway... I hope winter sticks around for a while. This is kind of fun!

"But It's a Beautiful Day"

That's what Monkey said when I told her she absolutely could not wear a skirt and flip flops to play in the snow.

It is stinkin' COLD here!
*************************************************************************************We had quite the weekend...

Saturday: Monkey and I finished our Christmas shopping, which included getting her ears pierced. All year she's been waiting to ask Santa to get her ears pierced, then she decided to tell him she wanted Hanna Montana Dress Up Clothes, instead.... YIKES! I hate Hanna Montana, but Santa hasn't let her down yet... and that is totally within Santa's budget this year. So, Mommy sprung for earrings a week early and Santa can battle it out with Target later in the week.

*****Sunday we woke to dry snow.*****
Dry snow is nice. Usually the snow here is very wet and, while that makes easy snow balls, it soaks through everything and makes for very cold play.
*****
We spent $200.00 on groceries and $25.00 on movie rentals, for the power to go out for 4 hours, just moments after I got the food put in the fridge.
*****
Of course I used up almost all of my candles when the crazy horse lady was home, because she still smokes in the house and it reeeeeeeeks so I burn candles to make it just a little more tolerable. And the wood stove was covered in Cd's and DVDs and what have you, because I don't need a wood stove... I have a perfectly functional furnace! So we had 2 candles going, which Monkey kept blowing out, and the ancient oil lamp that needs a new wick (but we made it work.)
*****
The hose was frozen, because up to this point winter was showing no sign of making an appearance this year.
*****
Along with the frozen hose, was a frozen spicket, an empty torch, and two empty horse toffs. (JOY!)
*****
Last year, we were pretty prepared for winter. It came upon us gradually and stayed a little too long. (we had snow in May, and the fields flooded on spring break so we went kayaking in the pasture.) We drained the hoses every night, kept the spicket covered with hay, and the wood stove was not covered with stuff because the furnace was broken for 2 months.
*****
anyway...
*****
The power decided to come back on, about 5 seconds after I got a fire going in the wood stove (which took half an hour to unclutter.)
*****
I was pleased to locate a 2nd oil lamp, stashed in the cupboard in the laundry closet. A cupboard that I don't actually recall seeing until it was dark and cold and I was on a mission to find more candles, flash lights, batteries, and lamp oil.
I also found a brand new torch in, what next week will be Mr Man's room
*****
I did get my love to sit down and play cards instead of watching TV, even after the power came back on.
Ultimately, the evening turned out pretty nice. Monkey got to watch Kung Fu Panda (twice), a well planned salmon dinner was not spoiled due to our adventure with out power, I discovered a few new and previously unexplored nooks and crannies in the sinking house, and all of the horses remain well hydrated!
*****
This may be my only post this week... it's supposed to snow somethin' fierce tomorrow and I may not make it out the driveway again.
*****
Stay Warm wherever you are!

cheers :o)
*************************************************************************************
(* these are snowflakes or ice crystals for the purpose of this post. just go with it.)

Plotting Evil Things Against Children is More Fun Than I Thought

My Love's children are some of the best behaved kids I've ever met. (truly.) You can take them anywhere and they are age appropriately mature and respectful towards people whom they are not related to. Having said that...

So seriously, my going to be step-son is 13 years younger than I am.

He thinks he knows everything, and what he doesn't know he thinks he doesn't need to know. The other day we were all watching TV and something was mentioned about a prosthetic hand and my love asked him if he knew what a prosthetic was and he said, "Don't need to."

Most days I simultaneously heart him, and want to beat him in the head with the muck shovel.

The little turd memorised the combo to the gun safe. The gun safe that we bought specifically to keep his grubby little hands off the guns. (I keep typing fun instead of gun... hehehe) See, he gets bored like most ADOS people and starts to snoop around and getting into stuff. The kid is always in trouble, mostly because he has ZERO respect for other people's things and he has a really crappy-I'm too cool for this-what are you gonna do about it-attitude.

(again with the shovel beating)

He thinks school is pointless, because he doesn't get it so he spends his days being "popular" and watching flies rather than asking for help and doing his school work. He is living with this illusion that life is grand and he can skate through it and will still make enough money to shop at Hollister, live in a huge house, drive a brand new car..... you know, all those illusions that 14 year olds have.

I'm sad to say, his dad rides him about the most menial things. So it really does seem like he cant do anything right. So when he does something really stupid, like getting into the gun (I did it again!) safe, or failing all of his classes, or making a bow and shooting a plastic arrow into the sheet rock in the garage or going through the DVDs in my room as though they were his own... the list of stupid things goes on and on and on... there is no differentiating between big things and him forgetting to take out the trash.

Since we are planning to get a house in June anyway, we have decided to move him in with us for the rest of the school year, starting after Christmas break. The school he goes to now is a pretty typical, over populated, suburban middle school. The new school is K-8 and has one classroom of 8th graders... tee hee... mwahahaha... and I'm not nearly as lax as he thinks I am on the weekends. Yes, this plan is sneaky and probably evil, but it's also for his own good!

It kinda sucks...I really want to have his back and make my love stop riding him so hard, but inevitably every single time I try to back him up he's lied or manipulated or just plain effed up and I look the fool. Fortunately my love knows all his tricks... I'm just discovering that I truly can not trust him and I don't like learning that about people. Especially people (kids or adults) that I have defended and tried to put my faith in.

Please Hold for the Next Available Annoying Salesperson

Really, whomever decided to enlist automated telemarketers to make initial contact should be honored... and smacked!

Now I get to hang up on an annoying recording rather than feeling just a little bit guilty for hanging up some poor college freshman who sounds super perky and is obviously just trying to make some money to feed herself.

I rank telemarketing as one of the top jobs that slowly erode your self esteem.

When I left her dad, his new girlfriend (who overlapped me; which is a whole other blog... or series of blogs, possibly to come at another time when I'm feeling really crappy about life) was a telemarketer/artist. She had one of those super bubbly voices and could probably sell snow to Eskimos. She, by no means, made "money" but she was able to pay her rent, when she went to work.

I don't really understand people who complain about being broke then don't go to work everyday. And when said people get their paychecks, they don't want to feel broke so they don't pay their bills... or they pay a small portion of their bills so they still have money for really important things like going to the bar and playing poker and buying super fancy art supplies only to drop out of art school because they're broke and need to get a "better job". (ahem!)

anywhoo... where was I? Oh yes, the automated telemarketers.

If you're going to ring my phone - my office line that is, they rarely call my cell Thank Goodness! - at least have the courtesy to have a person available to say what you're calling about. If you don't have enough staff available to dial a phone number to waste 15 seconds of my blog time, don't have a friggin' computer call me and politely ask me to hold for the next available representative. Perhaps if I knew what they were representing I would be interested (not likely. just play along.) but I don't wait on hold long enough for my love to answer call waiting... why the heck would I wait on hold just to hang up on a person?... HELLO! Does that make any sense to you?

I guess what I'm really saying is, if you have a computer call me because you know I'm going to hang up on a person... why bother placing the call in the first place?

Cheers!

Well That Wont Do At ALL!

Howdy!


So I don't post as often as I originally planned, but I'll work on that... perhaps. I've been cyber-stalking many other blogs for inspiration whilst taking special care not to be a blog stealer... there is definitely some entertaining stuff out there!


The past year and a half has been one of continual change for me. Change for the better, which is still stressful, just much more enjoyable.

I quit smoking (YAY!) I got a new job, which I basically enjoy, that actually supports me and Monkey without forcing us to live on Mac and Cheese and Ramen. I met a new man, a real man, a man's man, and subsequently fell in love (awwwww).

I moved just far enough out of the city to be away from everything, yet close enough to see my family and commute to work.



I became a dog owner,
a horse owner,





a "going to be step-mom",
and got unofficially engaged (or pretend married as we affectionately call it).


I went to my first Rodeo.





I learned what real friendship is and more importantly what it is NOT; in this lesson I also learned that I truly am blessed with an amazing family and I have taken that for granted for most of my life.... oh yeah, and a delightful patch of cellulite has taken up residence in that lovely area just below my ASS!

Big Changes!

Seriously, just before tanning season last spring I was drying off getting ready to lather my skin with coco butter and there it was... this dimply, some what chicken skin resembling patch just below what used to be my cute and perky butt... "What the hell is that?" escaped my lips as I ran my finger tips over my skin. I started my spring tanning but it never went away. I tried to hide it from my love... and myself. But when I start hiding my body, I lose confidence and from there everything begins to sink. Ever since that day it seems I can feel my thighs and my tush expanding...filling out my jeans in a whole new way... and I don't like it!



In the course of all the wonderful changes, have gained about 25 pounds. Now, I will say that I was probably not at my healthiest two years ago. I fit into a size 2, but everyone who knew me told me I needed to gain some weight. But this 25 pounds of "Happy Weight", does not feel good on my body. I've been reading (as I stated) a lot of blogs in the past couple of months, and there is a common theme to much of what I'm reading.... being healthy! Not just losing weight and 'ideal' size, or what diet someone is on. It's about getting happy and being healthy.

I get pretty unfriendly when I'm feeling like crap about myself. I tend to drive people away from me, subconsciously, which really just makes me feel worse about myself and deepens the hole I crawl into. So I've been trying really hard lately to stop snipping at people, and complaining about everything I can think of, and taking things personally, and pushing people away.... but I feel like crap and my jeans keep getting tighter and I'm craving all these really unhealthy foods (donuts, candy...CRAP!) and nothing is satisfying me. I joined a gym in October and have gone exactly twice, meanwhile I KNOW that if I just got my rear back into shape (oh how I miss it's shape), that I would feel better be nicer and the negativity around me would begin to dissipate.

So, I am making my resolution for 2009 a month early. Starting today, I will get back into my workout routine, I will not give in to those pesky cravings, and I will stop drinking beer or wine or whiskey and seven, every night! I am going to use this Blog to keep myself on track, so if you are reading, a little encouragement goes a LONG way with me :o)

My Goals (set 1):


To lose 10 pounds before Valentines day.

To run 1 mile without stopping.

To utilize my gym membership by, at a MINIMUM, going to cycling every week.


LET THE BUTT SHAPING BEGIN!

Something New Every Day

A recap of this week - in it's random glory:

Sunday I got a whopping 2 hours of sleep and battled the rest of the week trying to regain the missing 6 hours.

Monkey called Her Dad. Which was an amazing step for her. She has, until now, an unexplained fear of the telephone and has been content to calling him from her fingers for the past several months. But alas yesterday she says " Um Mommy, Can I please call my dad?"... I couldn't say no to such an eloquently spoken request.

The Crazy Horse Lady went back on the road so I spent Tuesday evening cooking dinner while simultaneously defuming my house. It's so nice to have my house back, if even for a short while. Though she and her man are soon to be gone for the month of December!! I am ecstatic and overjoyed and counting the weeks. (perhaps they'll get busy and not make it home before then... ah, I can wish right)

It's occurred to me that no one actually reads what I'm posting here, although I did acquire one follower - HI! I like your blog! And it made my day (or hour) when I logged in and saw that I had a follower! So Thank you :o)

I made a kick ass dinner last night... chicken cordon blue and twice baked potatoes... YAY ME!

Tuesday a fellow blogger found out she has Breast Cancer. Please send her your prayers... they work you know. I don't know this woman, but she has 2 boys and she obviously had some suspicion for quite some time and just found out... she seems to be staying amazingly strong and hopeful... so we all need to pray and say hopeful for her and her hubby and their adorable babies.

um... Migraines suck and are no fun and should qualify as an illness therefore a valid excuse to call in to work. However, I could be bleeding out my eyeballs and my boss would still make me come in... even if he's in Mexico... the jerk!

Actually, I heart my boss. He allows things such as blogging and web surfing and coming in late because I technically didn't want to get out of bed therefore had to take Monkey to school because she missed the bus... and he buys me coffee and lunch and new Stability Balls to sit on when I lose the plug to mine.

I microwaved a fork with my lunch without knowing it. I'm a little disappointed now. After being told my whole life not to ever put anything metal in the microwave, I would have expected a blown fuse or at least a neat flashy light show... but no... I just got a really hot fork the had caramelized Swiss cheese stuck to it. (sad.)

Christmas is rushing at me faster than I'd like, and while I am trying to be super responsible and pay off my credit cards, I cant help but buy new jeans... like every couple of weeks. I like jeans like most girls like shoes and hand bags... I just LOVE jeans. But I need to stop buying them for myself and start saving for important things like, The House that we want to buy next year... and oh I don't know... Christmas presents for My Love and "our" kids... and Lucky needs to stop sending me post cards with oober cute jeans on them.

Speaking of the kids, they are coming out this weekend. I'm very excited, the girls didn't come out last weekend, and Mr Man was in trouble so there was a lot of shoveling and working and long serious talks going on and not a lot of the joking and picking on and fun stuff that typically surrounds the weekend. He'll learn though...we hope.

So, I think that's it. If you are reading this, let me know. or if you have any tips on how to get more people to come by and read or whatever. I mean, it's all good to talk to one self, but it's funner to talk to one self and know that other people are in on the conversation too.

Cheers and Happy Weekending!