Enlighten Me... Please!

The Cowboy: Where do eggs come from?

Me: Um.. chickens...

The Cowboy: But the chickens come from eggs, so where do eggs come from?
Me: Chickens. The chickens came first.

The Cowboy: Then where did the chickens come from?

Me: God. God spoke and created everything... remember?!

The Cowboy: Oh yeah.

(pause.)

The Cowboy: So, why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: To get to the other side... obviously.

The Cowboy: Well, what was on the other side that was so important?

Me: The rooster.

(giggle.)

The Cowboy: You're naughty.

(more giggling.)


~cheers!

Because Life Aint Always Beautiful

15 random things that I love:

sunshine - through a window but preferably on my skin

fresh air - especially after it rains and the sun has returned

Tanner the quarterhorse buckskin gelding

the internet - which I completely take for granted

Widmere Drop Top - mmmmmmm

the accomplished feeling I get when I work out - especially when I dont want to

cuddling - in pajamas

monkey's laugh - especially when she's being tickled

blue skies

green grass

the coast - rain or shine

camping - without kiddos (sorry, it's just more fun)

rodeos - bring 'em

dancing - with the Cowboy

and

orange juice - plain old OJ

I sat here all day trying to come up with something to write that I might actually be interested in reading... I got nothin'! It seems so easy to write about the hard stuff and not so easy to think about the good stuff. So I decided to just write some good stuff.... forgive, or enjoy :o)


~cheers

Finally! I can stop typing and take a walk

This mornings observations:

Burnt raisin bread toast is far better than burnt regular toast.

14 year old boys should be quarantined until they mature to, at least, a tolerable level of "normal".

There are 5, yes five, different kinds of bar-b-cue sauce in my fridge, and ZERO salad dressing.

Children consume food with the semblance of raccoons plundering a garbage can. But for some reason they only want the things I covet. They never want the healthy things at dinner, why would they want them for a snack? Eat the friggin' left over pizza, leave my salad goodies alone!

Maternity panties are a non-essential item, and should be banned... except for high school girls who don't use condoms. For them, maternity panties should be mandatory. (thank you kaydee.) Actually, all teen-aged girls should be required by law to wear unflattering undergarments... and possibly chastity belts.
(can you tell the I have 2 nearly teen-aged step-daughters to be?)

Portland truly is a melting pot. A town full of character. Television is really not needed in this town. If you want entertainment, just pop down to any local coffee shop (not Starbucks. they can be avoided with little effort here.) with a book or laptop to pretend you're engrossed in, and just observe your surroundings... without bothering your neighbors, who are likely doing the same thing. Or they just want to be left the heck alone. Which is completely understandable.
I grew up in Portland. I utilized Tri-Met (public transportation) for the better part of 10 years, therefore have become aloof to the oddity of others outside of my immediate world. I have seen my share many crazy ass people, even from this town's standards.
There are some folks in this corner of the planet, who would assume that because you made direct eye contact with them, for a nanosecond, it means you want to immediately follow them home and try not to make babies. It's sometimes daring to simply offer a friendly smile and hello to strangers anymore, lest you invite a stalker into your life.
When I was 7 months pregnant I was on MAX heading downtown to meet my mom for lunch, and this group of guys, 17-20ish, asked me if I wanted to hop off and go get high. Seriously! I was WAAAY obviously pregnant. I mean, thanks for offering, but get a life. After they departed the train, an honest to goodness DEA agent flashed me his badge and started questioning me about if I knew those guys, and did they really just say what he thought they said. Honestly, things like that are not so uncommon. You'd be amased at the things you hear people talking about on Tri-Met. It's like they think no one can hear them. But I suppose when it seems common place to discuss your sex life, drug use, or to make drug orders in public, one might begin to assume that everyone does it so it becomes psuedo-acceptable.

(sigh.)

I love this town. I hate it too, in the way that many people hate where they grew up... ghosts and old drama and such. Still, hearing another person's tale of Tri-Met (that really does sum it up.) never ceases to make me giggle a little and say "yup." to myself. I can relate completely.

This post went in an entirely different directed than when I started. Though I can not bring myself to split it into separate posts because it is a fairly accurate trip through the spagetti.

~cheers

Dancing Crazy Superbug Love

I'm getting the superbug. I can feel it in my muscles. I'm achy and tired and feeling all around craptacular.

But I made it to work today. Half asleep at the wheel. Seriously! Driving half asleep is worse than driving after perhaps consuming one or three too many.

(Not that I have ever done that.)

Moving on.

I had a blast Saturday night! We went out for a friend's birthday; and it seemed that everyone we knew, related to that friend and not, was at the bar, in good spirits (or full of them) and having a fabulous time. We danced most of the night, got to catch up with some friends we haven't seen in a while, and really enjoyed ourselves... OH! and we only spent forty bucks!

(seriously, two alchys in a bar for 4 hours only spending $40... that's just awesome, wouldn't you say?)

I will take a moment to say that I do not miss my old friends. I do not miss the drama, I do not miss the fighting, I certainly do not miss their apparent need to create drama and fights in the event that something is not already brewing.

Yes. Saturday night, Life was GRAND!

However.

I was crazy pregnant woman yesterday.
Except I'm not pregnant, so I guess I was just...
crap!

It was one of those days that should have been spent in bed, with a book and earplugs. Instead it was spent on one emotionally distraught misadventure after another; while my love did actually feed most of my roller coaster, he also caught the receiving end of the majority of my frustration, agitation, raw emotion, and subsequent burnt pizza.

The alarms should have sounded when I felt like crying, yes crying at the discovery that there were not enough eggs to make french toast, like I wanted. So My Love decided to make pancakes instead.

Saturday morning, I took the girls adventuring. He made himself an extraordinary to do list, which upon it's completion would have left Sunday for us to spend at our leisure. Only, unbeknown to me, he got to his parent's house, parked his rear in front of the computer and didn't come home until 8:00 pm, when we were supposed to be across town at a friend's birthday party.

At the discovery that, once again, our Sunday was going to be spent chasing everything he neglected to do on Saturday, I was... less then happy. THEN He sat on his rear, in front of the computer AGAIN, looking at houses for 2 hours, THEN he had to read the paper, THEN...

Ok, it was just NOT a good day.

Today, aside from being achy and tired and almost killing multiple people in my half asleep drive to the office, has been pretty ok.

I'm sheepishly trying to make ammends with My Love, who is surprisingly not ready to kill me.

(He did tell me not to ever have a bad day again.)

I discovered Google Reader. (sigh.) I'm in love. The office shall never be the same.

I also had my first Diet Rockstar in more than a month.

Oh -- it's raining. And truth be known, I'm glad.

~cheers

The Return to Random

I offer my apologies for the... crappyness of my blog.

I started off as random as my brain is, then it seems I sank into somewhere yucky.
I'm trying to resurrect the spunky side of me; winter can be such a bitch sometimes.

Bear with me... I'm trying :o)

~~

Hi there Mr. Sun!



You are my friend. I love to walk with you in the afternoon. To feel your warmth on my face, even when you are not strong enough to warm the air around me.
I cant wait for the flowers to bloom and the cold to stop... please keep up the good work and come out more often, I've missed you!
xoxo

~~

Dear Mister Jerk-O, (I forgot the other name I called you in this blog. It may or may not have been nicer, but I assure you it had the same loathing sentiment behind it.)
Learn how to write a packing slip. If the client ordered 200 sets, we are billing for 200 sets, and sending 200 sets, write 200 sets not 600 pieces.
I know it makes sense in your brain, but not all of us think like you. That doesn't mean either one of us is wrong, per se. It just means that if I cant bill it so the client understands it, well... you did it wrong!
Enjoy your 3 day weekend. I'm scheming to clean out your desk while you are away.

The Naggy Bitch in the office

~~

Today is Friday.
It's Friday, it's Friday... doin' the happy dance!

~~

Oh! So, I got new boots for Valentines Day!



Because My Love loves me. He keeps saying I'm spoiled. But I reassure him that I'm just loved!

Thank you My Love! I hope you enjoyed your massage... oh and I bought you that cologne you love because I also LOVE it. So open it and wear it... every day... please!

~~

I also got this new phone, at "wizen-wizer's" as monkey says. It's pretty SWEET!

It's got a touch screen, a QWERTY keyboard, a decent camera, two incredible screens, and an actual web browser; which I completely admit I love but have yet to actually master.

I still amused just playing with the scrolling part of the touch screen. It's just fun to watch my contact list and inbox spin uuuuppppppp and dooooownnnn, with the touch of my finger.
Yes. I know that I'm as easily amused as a small child. That's part of the greatness of being ME!

(I know the US is in a depression and everyone is freaking out and scrimping and saving and here I am planning a wedding, applying for a mortgage and buying new boots and a new phone... but there are a handful of us that are still working and doing our best to single handedly revive the economy. BESIDES, my other phone snapped in half one day when I flipped it open... seriously! One of the hinges broke and the top part spun around backwards when I opened it.)

~~

Coffee... need I say more?
oooooh frozen berries for my oatmeal!

~~

... Cheers!

I'm Outta' Here

Happy Fried-day!

I have nothing too pertinent to share today. Which means this is going to be long post, doesn't it?

I'm sad that my former co-office goddess has chosen to part with ME in a negative light. Her uncle let her go, because she doesn't want to come in and work, she just wants to write herself checks once a week. Things slowed down to the point that he doesn't need two people in the office anymore... and for somehow that makes me the wretched b**** who deserved to be shunned. Sad yes, I am. So is she.

We're off to find a wedding site tomorrow. We being my mom and I. I'm excited and annoyed. My love... oh how I love thee. Why on earth did I think that he would be any different than any other male when it came to planning our wedding? I dunno either, but for some reason I thought he'd at least help me pick a place. Oh No! I wanted small and intimate, he wanted a real wedding. OK I can do real wedding. Now his input is limited to "If we have it on a Friday people wont come." that's all... nothing more.
PSSSSHHHHH~
ooh ooh ooh I did find a pretty dress though!

I'm not big on football, but beings that I am "maritally required" to root for the Steelers, YAY Steelers! (or whatever.) We are going to a Superbowl party on Sunday, so that should be fun, right? Hang out with a bunch of My Love's friends wives, who thought I was a flash in the pan and are now forced to remember my name because I'm not goin' anywhere. I love these few and far between shindigs... practice the smile that shows in your eyes, be polite, and remember they don't want you to engage in their conversation just pretend that you're interested in what they're saying.

OH, and the last thing I will blurb about today... something I don't think many women say... I love my bathroom scale! I bought one last weekend, and while I'm sure it was just adjusting or whatever those things do... the past 3 days it has consistently showed the same weight, which is 4 pounds less than it said the three days before that! So, Yay for little insignificant things that keep the happy bubble inflated!

Have a joyous weekend!

~cheers

To Blog or Not To Blog... Is that a question?

I apologise. Apparently blog-block is a handicap. Almost daily I log in to blogger, click new post, and type a bunch of randomness. As, I'm sure, you've come to expect. (if you're still reading )

Have you ever been bored with yourself?

Seriously. I have gone to preview, read half of my post and deleted them. If I can't read my own post, why would anyone else. However, as annoying as my randomness can be, it's not even been interesting to me lately.

All I can think about is buying a house and planning a wedding. Knowing that both are major life events, each really does require two people, and alot of phone calls. I hate making phone calls, but I have a desk job which allows for things such as blogging, and emails, and copying 25 documents to fax over to a lender and...
(see... not interesting blog material)

But then I was reminded, by myself (go figure), that this blog is "Conversations With Myself". This is a place for my randomness, uncensored, raw (as it can be), and anonymous as I want. Of course I love comments, and I love that a handful of people may see that I've posted something and stop by to see what is coercing through my brain on any given day. But my stage fright has apparently gone into overdrive and I am criticising myself for my thoughts shared on my blog.

(did you follow that?)

I am going to post this post. Whether it's crappy or not. Whether it annoys me, and probably you, my lovely readers. Because I guess a lame post that is honest is better than no post at all. Especially when my brain is overflowing, with I don't even know what, and if I don't get it out somewhere I'm likely to start having 2 way conversations out loud with myself. Which could potentially have some serious consequences, especially at work.

So, I guess what I'm saying is, thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy the little bits of my world that I get out here. I'm sorry I have stage fright, I'm going to work on that.

~cheers!

Oh Crap! I forgot to check the mail

There is something very appropriate about SweetTarts being my favorite non-candy bar candy.

Snickers are my favorite candy bar.

My boss is a crazy man. He is very generous and funny most of the time. Perhaps crazy is not fair, we have similar personalities and I most certainly am not crazy.
(What?! I'm not...)
For some reason, when he is getting along with his wife he is mean to me. They fight a lot, today they are not fighting.

My love is letting me down more and more lately. It's kind of bumming me out. Last night he explained what's going on... "I got you hooked, now I can be my real self." While he was smiling when he said it, so NOT funny. Mostly because it's true. But the same goes for me I guess.

Little personality quirks come out once you live with someone. It's not always pretty, but we still love each other completely.

I'm not ready for Christmas.

I still don't know what to get my love, and for the first time that I'm aware of, I'm just not feelin' the Christmas spirit this year. Usually I've got tons of ideas and I'm rarin' to go shop and buy tons of well thought out gifts for everyone. This year I'm more like, tell me what you want and I'll go get it and put it in a pretty bag and call it good.
I'm not scroogin', I'm just not... Merry...

I've heard that life is what's happening while you're waiting for it to begin. This is very enlightening and all, but really I've been waiting to get married and settle down since I was in like 4th grade. I like my life, but I really want to buy a house and have my family now. Settled... Secure... you know, little things.

I'm very much stuck in the middle... but I don't know what I'm in the middle of. "Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, here I am... stuck in the middle with you."

Why is it significantly easier for people to talk about all the bad things rather than the good things? There is definitely a stigma attached to talking about all of the wonderful blessings we have in our lives... it feels like bragging and no one wants to hear it.

The other night we talked about the trick of literature in eliminating the unessential, so that we are given a concentrated dose of life. I said almost indignantly, “It’s a deception and the cause of much disappointment. One reads books and expects life to be just as full of interest and intensity.And, of course, it isn’t so. There are many dull moments in between,and they, too, are natural. You, in your writing, have played the same trick. I expected all our talks to be feverish, portentous. I expected you always drunk, and always delirious. Then when we lived together for a few days, we fell into a profound, quiet, natural rhythm.” – pp 170 ~ Henry and June by Anais Nin

Anais Nin Rocks! or did rock, she's deceased, but her writing lives, therefore she continues to rock.

Anne Rice, John Grisham and Danielle Steel, also rock!

Spike Lee does not rock... in fact I think he pretty much does exactly the opposite of rocking.
Same goes for the Governor of Illinois who tried to auction off Obama's Senatorial Seat. Mister Blagojevich you are the epitome of what is wrong with our country's political process. I hope you spend the rest of your life in a maximum security prison for the criminally insane. (no country club for you!)

Still enjoying the SweetTarts.

Yesterday, I ran 3 miles in 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Then I unloaded and stacked 40 bales of hay ~ with a hole in my hand (more on this), fed the horses, then made dinner and got all the laundry folded!
Yesterday was a good day.

This whole ring thing is bugging me more than I realised. I don't know why he took me ring shopping in the first place... I mean I do know, and his intentions were good, but the time is obviously not right and he needs to not buy it right now. So naturally I'm a little put off. Maybe I'm wrong but I'm disappointed, I know what his money picture looks like and if it meant that much to him... like if he really wanted to do it, he could.

eh... whatever... que sera sera, right?!

I have a dime sized hole in my hand, accompanying an eraser sized blister on my thumb. See, yesterday after I kicked ass at the gym I went to get my Christmas stuff out of storage and when I got there I realised the my love never checked the oil in my truck, which likely explained the horrible sound the engine was making. So after I loaded up all my Christmas boxes I popped the hood and pulled out the dip-stick (the one for the oil, not my soon to be step-son) and sure enough... it was EMPTY!!!! I had ZERO oil in the 1 year old engine of my 15 year old pickup! So I, genius that I am, tried in vain to get the oil cap off the engine so I could add a quart - which was all that I had in the truck because when you have a man as handy as mine it becomes no longer your job to make sure the truck has oil in it. But the engine was still too hot, so the cap was suctioned on and wouldn't move. So I'm standing on the brush guard, in my gym clothes, bent over under the hood, grunting and gripping and trying as hard as I can to get the damn thing to come loose, and instead I got a HUGE blister on my hand. A blister that eventually tore open and started weeping and stinging because the engine compartment (or actually, the entire truck) needs a serious bath in degreaser. So, finally feeling defeated (which I hate) I went to the storage place office and shamefully asked if a man was available to assist me. Which got me one of those sarcastic-you're one of those princessey girls who cant take care of herself-looks. But when I explained what happened and showed her the weeping blister she immediately wiped the sarcastic-you're one of those princessey girls who cant take care of herself-look off her face, and sent her assistant out to help me. He, of course, got the cap off like he was opening a plastic jar of peanut butter... (of course he did!)

I've decided that when making up words, like princessey, it's ok to not worry about spelling.

Running out of SweetTarts

oooh! Peppermint Tea

Cheers!

Screw being rich, I'm glad I'm not famous

This has been somewhat of a long week. For no particular reason, really. Work is slow, so I'm spending more time on the internet. This is both good and bad. I'm learning new and exciting things, like for instance did you know that Amy Winehouse is actually a singer?? Like a real singer... she had a career before she became a walking tabloid cover. I never knew this, but now that I've been educated I realise why she reminds me so much of Courtney Love.

I used to LOVE Hole. But Courtney really irked me off when I paid $50 to see Hole back in 1998 when they were on tour with Marilyn Manson. I didn't want to see Marilyn Manson (ewwwwww), but my ex did. and he didn't want to see Hole, but I did. so it all worked out. until Courtney threw a tantrum because apparently the crowd didn't meet her standards and she walked off stage.... yeah, that kind of ruined my fan-ness. I still rock Celebrity Skin on those especially ornery days when I need to drive fast and escape back to 17. But for the most part I've boycotted her.

It's really sad, actually. To watch someones life fall apart then clean up then fall apart. (pause. think of Britney. love her or loathe her, your heart has to go out to that girl.) I mean they are actually people, and their mistakes are put out there in the spotlight for all to see and remember. I cant imagine why anyone would want to be famous, and stay famous, if they didn't have it together (at least on the surface.)

I'm not saying my own life isn't a roller coaster. Seriously... to everything (turn turn turn) there is a season (turn turn turn)... and something new will be brewing or falling apart. But I (for the most part) have a say in who knows about what is going on with me. If things got really really bad, I could always move to another town and start over and no one would know the difference.

Celebrities don't get to start over. They just have to try to prove themselves all over again, and they have more people betting against them, reporting on their every blunder, their every slip... Have you ever tried to pick yourself back up? Mistakes happen, its easy to backslide... but you need people around you to support you and let you know that it's OK and you just have to keep going forward. The media seems to make it their business to keep these people down. To shine a spotlight on every minuscule thing that might possibly be construed as a slip up. Give them a chance people... it's not like your life is perfect either! But then, what would we have to talk about? The impending doom of the country... Ooooh! look, Angelina is pregnant....again....

moving on.

I made it to the gym last night. I couldn't really feel my quads when I left, but I definitely felt invigorated! I just wish there was a gym close to home so I could go every day. As it is I can really only get out there once a week when I go work for my dad. But hey, once a week is better than not going at all... right? (right!)

I also stepped on the scale in the locker room... scales aren't my friend... but I was prepared for the worst and it was not quite as bad as I expected. I now have my starting point and a clearer idea of where I'd like to be in 2 months. And since I don't have a scale at home, I now know where I can check my progress every week.

Now... I'm off to blog land to find more interesting things to babble about... ... ...

Yeah, not so much. There is nothing new or interesting going on in the world today. Perhaps that in itself is new and interesting. or. I'm just not amused with the headlines today... that's probably it.

I did, however, figure out how to make my iTunes songs into MP3's so I can create ring tones! FREE RING TONES!!! YAY! Have I mentioned that it's the little things that thrill me?

Happy Thursday! :o)

Something New Every Day

A recap of this week - in it's random glory:

Sunday I got a whopping 2 hours of sleep and battled the rest of the week trying to regain the missing 6 hours.

Monkey called Her Dad. Which was an amazing step for her. She has, until now, an unexplained fear of the telephone and has been content to calling him from her fingers for the past several months. But alas yesterday she says " Um Mommy, Can I please call my dad?"... I couldn't say no to such an eloquently spoken request.

The Crazy Horse Lady went back on the road so I spent Tuesday evening cooking dinner while simultaneously defuming my house. It's so nice to have my house back, if even for a short while. Though she and her man are soon to be gone for the month of December!! I am ecstatic and overjoyed and counting the weeks. (perhaps they'll get busy and not make it home before then... ah, I can wish right)

It's occurred to me that no one actually reads what I'm posting here, although I did acquire one follower - HI! I like your blog! And it made my day (or hour) when I logged in and saw that I had a follower! So Thank you :o)

I made a kick ass dinner last night... chicken cordon blue and twice baked potatoes... YAY ME!

Tuesday a fellow blogger found out she has Breast Cancer. Please send her your prayers... they work you know. I don't know this woman, but she has 2 boys and she obviously had some suspicion for quite some time and just found out... she seems to be staying amazingly strong and hopeful... so we all need to pray and say hopeful for her and her hubby and their adorable babies.

um... Migraines suck and are no fun and should qualify as an illness therefore a valid excuse to call in to work. However, I could be bleeding out my eyeballs and my boss would still make me come in... even if he's in Mexico... the jerk!

Actually, I heart my boss. He allows things such as blogging and web surfing and coming in late because I technically didn't want to get out of bed therefore had to take Monkey to school because she missed the bus... and he buys me coffee and lunch and new Stability Balls to sit on when I lose the plug to mine.

I microwaved a fork with my lunch without knowing it. I'm a little disappointed now. After being told my whole life not to ever put anything metal in the microwave, I would have expected a blown fuse or at least a neat flashy light show... but no... I just got a really hot fork the had caramelized Swiss cheese stuck to it. (sad.)

Christmas is rushing at me faster than I'd like, and while I am trying to be super responsible and pay off my credit cards, I cant help but buy new jeans... like every couple of weeks. I like jeans like most girls like shoes and hand bags... I just LOVE jeans. But I need to stop buying them for myself and start saving for important things like, The House that we want to buy next year... and oh I don't know... Christmas presents for My Love and "our" kids... and Lucky needs to stop sending me post cards with oober cute jeans on them.

Speaking of the kids, they are coming out this weekend. I'm very excited, the girls didn't come out last weekend, and Mr Man was in trouble so there was a lot of shoveling and working and long serious talks going on and not a lot of the joking and picking on and fun stuff that typically surrounds the weekend. He'll learn though...we hope.

So, I think that's it. If you are reading this, let me know. or if you have any tips on how to get more people to come by and read or whatever. I mean, it's all good to talk to one self, but it's funner to talk to one self and know that other people are in on the conversation too.

Cheers and Happy Weekending!

Cherry Popsicle ~ Peppermint Mocha

Some quiet would be nice.
Nothing profound or exotic.
Just some quiet.
And perhaps a little fresh air.

A beach ride perhaps.
Just me and Tanner (he doesnt talk much)
To rest. To breathe. To feel life.
Peaceful - Timeless.

perhaps
...
A storm-walk.
The thundering silence
of waves and rain,
washing over me
soaking to my bones.

Just Because no. 1

"Grey Matter"

I hate you, I love you
Leave, please
Don't go away
Can't decide if
I like your face
Or if I wish
It would stray
You're a child but
You're malicious
You're sweet but
Don't remember my name
And heads you win
And tails I'm lost
And love equals pain

I am drifting
Without an anchor
Through your ambigous region
A strange continent
Immune to all reason
And I'm flattered by
Your grey matter

Inside my skin
I feel your tongue
Telling me I'm dirty
And licking my bones
A surge against silence
A knife across a plate
Makes the sound
Of need on hate

I am drifting
Without an anchor
Through your ambigous region
A strange continent
Immune to all reason
And I'm flattered by
Your grey matter
And I do not understand
Why a woman can't
Just love a man

You're amusing
You're a real cool show
With your meat hooks
And barbed wire carnival
You got glitter in your pocket
You got mothballs in your soul
From too many false teeth
And greasy flash bulbs

I am drifting
Without an anchor
Through your ambigous region
A strange continent
Immune to all reason
And I'm flattered by
Your grey matter

I love you
I hate you

~Jewel Kilcher